it’s over now

 

The betrayal is churning in my stomach, and I don’t know that I can ever digest it. Will I have to carry this with me until the very end? It seems so unfair, to love someone so exceptionally for the best years of your life, only to learn you weren’t good enough regardless of your very best efforts. I want to say so many things, but what does it matter? Nothing can change the past, it’s over now. Everything I knew to be true is now in question. What stings is that the memories I planned to cherish, the ones that used to make me smile, now hold a different meaning. These memories used to be a blessing, now they just make me feel sick and I wish I never held them in my heart. I hid his face from my photo gallery, it hurts to look at him now. In one night, the history of my life has been revised. My biggest regret is not heeding his warning. He told me at the beginning that he was dark inside. I didn’t believe him then and it was a mistake that I have paid dearly for.

My heart ripped at the seams, I’m done 

I should have known from the start what this all really was 

I can’t eat or sleep or get deep with no one 

I feel so stupid 

I can’t believe I believed 

He ruined everything for me, restaurants and movie screens 

I don’t even know me anymore 

Now I’m never, ever going to trust again